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A Moment of Conciousness |
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Oct/Nov/Dec 2007
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Knowledge of Child Development and how it can greatly improve childrearing in America by Noelle Ruth Nicolas Often times when people make comparisons between developed and under-developed (so called third world) countries, most people feel relieved to be living in a developed country where the collected notion is that most of our needs are met, opposed to living in what we have defined as an under-developed nation where rations on just about everything is low. Yes, these nations may not present with the material things that we in the developed nations have, but, there are things that they do have that we (the developed nations) have either lost touch with or no longer prescribe to due to what we perceive as "our evolution" towards something "better", and as a result have greatly suffered for it. One thing in particular is constructive parenting skills.
For all of those who take parenting seriously, we all know that it does take a village. So many aspect of our children essence derives from so many different influences that it is difficult to keep track of. In our modern society we entrust our children to complete strangers and hope that they are able to instill in them the qualities we hope that will make them successful people and adults. But what we fail to understand is exactly how to accomplish this task ourselves in an intimate home setting. We've been brainwash to think that these skills can be purchased from a well decorated child friendly establishment. Mothers in growing numbers are not feeling up to the task of child rearing and society as a whole will continue to suffer the consequences until serious thought is given to every parent arming themselves with knowledge of child development. It is illogical to take away a constructive force and not replace it with something else. Eventually over time that ! void is filled with something... constructive or destructive. Child development chronicles the expected stages by which a human being develops. It covers infancy to young adulthood. Knowledge of what to expect before it happens allows parents to prepare themselves for what lies ahead and it also allows children to seek their parents out as a resource instead of finding out on their own or at the knees of their inexperienced, overly stimulated peers. For those of us who have chosen to be parents, our role is one that is an extraordinary task that cannot be fulfilled without guidance. To watch your baby grow up, think, then do, should not occur by accident. We directly impact either by active involvement or passive aversion. In either case, what our children become is a direct result of what we did or did not do. Information about child rearing may perhaps allow some people to think harder about becoming parents before they are faced with the decision. Personally, I feel as though it has greatly assisted me in raising my children. I have a plan for them and understand at which point to implement certain goals for them based on their level of understanding. I exercise patience and forgive many mischievous ventures because it is typical of children to want to exert their curiosity as well as test the boundaries of the world they live in. Not being able to understand our children or fill in the gaps for them can leave us feeling helpless or useless. Child development encourages purposeful interaction between parents and their children. Some parents look to their children to achieve goals or dreams they themselves failed to realize. This expectation reveals a lack of understanding of children and what they need to grow in terms of developing an inner understanding of themselves, the world and their place in it. Clearly this is what we are currently dealing with in today's society... a generation of people left to decipher the world without a guide. Knowledge of what children understand and at what stages they can best grasp what we yearn to teach them can be most beneficial, to the parent, child, and society eventually. I almost venture to think that some legislation should be presented before congress regarding this matter; mandatory courses on Child development before having children and renewal after every stage to continue raising your child. I mean after all, we are required to renew our licenses to own a vehicle, should we not have even greater expectations for a possession far greater than our modes of travel? I guess the old adage is more than just a popular saying...it does take a village and in this case since we've chased off the villagers, being well informed is going to have to fit the bill.
A Moment of Consciousness invites the readers to consider some of the real factors that influence our lives, and challenges the reader to give serious thought to the decisions that they make in the lives of their children as a result of misguided information fed to us by the mainstream culture. The hope is that people of African descent will second guest this information by putting it into a perspective that is relevant to their life and experiences. |
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In less developed nations there's an established infrastructure of care that a new mother receives when she gives birth. It is the assumed responsibility of her female relatives and neighbors to help nurse the mother and orientate her with her new role as mother. Here in America, this situation is handled with less nurture and care, mothers are sent home with no instructions or supervision on infant care. Perhaps family members will visit, but only for a short period of time at which point the new mother's are left to figure things out on their own (and please keep in mind that we are talking about woman who for most of their lives have been encouraged to pursue careers, not motherhood.) Yes, this process and experience is the fundamental reason for women, but, mother's intuition and raising children is a nurtured process, not a skill that sets in because your body is with child. As a direct result of new mothers inexperience with infants, mothers more and more are suffering from conditions that were once upon a time nonexistent or so low in occurrences, that it was unheard of. Mothers today ! are faced with great challenges, challenges that have manifested themselves in the form of Post Partum Depression in record numbers, feelings of inadequacy or worst, the death of a child/ren at the hands of their caregivers. It isn't that we did not have this infrastructure, our culture have seemingly traded in motherhood for the pursuit of employment (which has somehow surrogated for equality) and as a result of this neglect both mothers and children suffer a great deal for this lost of connection to other woman/mothers who greatly impact the process of bonding between mothers and their new infants.
